What is honest and sincere appreciation? It simply means the ability to recognize a value of a thing. The Oxford Dictionary defines appreciation as the pleasure That you have when you recognize an enjoy the good qualities of something or somebody.
The psychologist William James said, "One of the deepest desires of human beings is the desire to be appreciated. The feeling of being unwanted is hurtful. "
Expensive jewels are not gifts; they are apologies for shortcomings. Many times we buy gifts for people to compensate for not spending enough time with them. This might to our wife, best friends,family,co_workers etc. Real gifts are when you give part of yourself.
Sincere appreciation is one of the greatest gifts one can give to another person. It makes a person feel important. The desire to feel important is one of the greatest cravings in most human beings. It can be a great motivator.
"The greatest or biggest disease in this our generation is not Ebola, Lassa fever, leprosy or tuberculosis but rat in the feeling of being unwanted."
In order to be effective, appreciation must meet Certain Criteria:
*: It must be specific. If I tell someone that he did a good job, and walk away, what will go through his/her mind?
He will think, "what did I do good? "He will be confused. But when I say, "The Way you handled that difficult customer was great,"then he knows what he is being appreciated for.
*: It must be immediate. The effectiveness is diluted if we show our appreciation for someone six months after he has done something commendable.
*: It must be sincere. It must come from the heart. You must mean every word. It is better not to appreciate if you don't mean it because insincerity comes through.
*: Don't qualify praise with a but. By using the but as a connector, we erase the appreciation. Use "and," "in addition to that " or some other appropriate connector. Instead of saying, "I appreciate your effort but.....",say something like, " I appreciate your effort and would you please "
*: After giving appreciation, it is not important to wait for acknowledgment. Some people are looking for a compliment in return. That is not the purpose of appreciation.
If you are receiving appreciation, accept it graciously with a "thank you."
It is easier to deal with honest rejection than insincere appreciation. At least the person knows where he belongs. Don't miss out an opportunity to give sincere appreciation. It builds self esteem and automatically your own self esteem increase.
Public appreciation is recognition.
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